I recently saw a post on Facebook that read ‘If you have friends that have kids within the ages of 2-4 years, constantly check on them because they are not fine’ I had a good laugh and when I showed my husband, he too had a good laugh.
Parenting toddlers requires a lot of patience and some level of wisdom to enable you get it right and not miss out on the basic values you need to infuse in them. At this stage, a parent must find the balance between teaching basic rules and allowing their new sense of independence find expression.
Understanding the development of a toddler will help you gain their cooperation and most definitely end your frustration.
I watched my daughter blossom from that tender baby to this present toddler who has a mind of her own! and I must say that engaging her is not easy at all…
This stage of development is not easy for both parents and child. Children at this stages’ new found sense of independence make them take up challenging quests, push boundaries, test limits and test your patience!
Here and now, the rules of engagement differs, as is the language. For example, if you tell a toddler “don’t bang on the table” they will only hear “bang on the table”
As if it is a prime directive, they will do contrary to what you say, so, you have to find ways to encourage them to cooperate while allowing them to fulfill their need for “I do it myself!”
Related: “Some fun activities to have with your kids this holiday“
Outlined below are tips that can help you win your way to your toddler’s heart and by all means help you have their cooperation.
5 Important tips for parenting toddlers – win their hearts
- Encourage them on what they can do: For the entire stage that your child is a toddler, just forget the word ‘don’t’, always tell them what they should do, not what they shouldn’t. Instead of “don’t yell” ~ use your inside voice” Instead of “don’t run” ~ “use your walking feet”. Simply redirect them by telling them what they can do. Positive language will help direct or redirect their behavior, giving them an action to comply with, something to do, rather than having to stop a particular activity.
- Give them chores in the house: Build up your toddlers sense of mastery by putting them in charge of something that ordinarily you won’t. This will greatly enchant them, and you will be delighted at their level of commitment doing the job, though most times they end up messing everywhere up. This is a certified tip for parenting toddlers and gaining their cooperation. I let me daughter help me load the washer by handing her clothes, also I allow her help me pick out groceries from the grocery store, then together we go cash out. Studies has shown that if we allow toddlers to help, even when helping might mean more of a mess than if you did it yourself, it will positively pays off in the long run. Toddlers are naturally inclined to want to help and when we nurture that instead of stifling it, they are more likely to volunteer to help around the house when they are much older. Instead of telling your toddler what to do, ask for their help in such a way that bolsters their sense of Independence and boosts their imagination. Make it fun! I describe chores for my toddler through songs, and this gets her on her feet and happy!
- Always acknowledge their emotions: Toddlers do not express emotions in socially accepted ways, as they are learning what emotions are and will most times express them in primal ways. Firstly, you will teach them to name their emotions and secondly that it is ok to have feelings.They might express their emotions in ways that might not be acceptable; you can go ahead to acknowledge their emotions, but you discourage actions that follows. For example, “It’s ok to be angry, but it is never ok to hit or bite” Helping them identify and name emotions is the first step in learning how to better express themselves. Generally, acknowledging children’s emotions, helps them to understand those emotions and leads to better empathy and prosocial behaviors, especially in boys.
- Ignore unwanted behaviors : Toddlers who are meeting milestones are in the preoperational stage of cognitive development, and they learn by repeating behaviors over and over. They will continually repeat behaviors that result in a big reaction. If they have picked up a bad word from you, your husband or anyone close to you, ignore it and act like it’s no big deal. Some parents will surely shake their heads saying “I can’t possibly allow my child act wrong and not do anything about it”, hmmm if you act like it is a big deal, they will repeat it! again and again because they want to see your reaction to them saying that forbidden word. Toddlers are not quite capable of understanding that saying some words makes you upset, all they see is your immediate reaction when they utter them; reactions which totally differs from how you act normally. In essence, they will say that word over and over because your reaction interests them. Understand that they learn through repetition. For instance, they might want to play the same game over and over, and while it is boring for you, they are literally strengthening connections in the brain through repetition. Kindly note that you only ignore them when they exhibit an unwanted behavior. My daughter of two recently picked up a habit of hissing at us, while we were wondering where she picked up such forbidden habit from, we really expressed how upset we are whenever she did it. We would scold her for hissing and when she feels like she is not getting the attention she wants, all she will have to do is hiss and then she gets the big reaction from mommy and daddy. None of our scold or talk worked, so we decided to just ignore her whenever she hissed, and guess what, it worked!. She has gradually stopped hissing because she stopped getting the big emotional response from us. She simply didn’t mean to be disrespectful, all she wanted was the attention that came whenever she hissed, and because we stopped reacting totally, she started loosing interest in hissing. It’s that simple!
- Give your undivided attention: In this present world, technology has got so many parents working on gadgets, a large number of parents earn online and for those that don’t, they still have to work with their computers or phone devices inorder to earn offline. In general, almost everyone has got something to do on a mobile device at different time of the day. Parenting a toddler requires you to be present, not just in person but also in spirit and soul. Many parents fall for the temptation of being on their phones, tablets or computers throughout the day, and simply pausing at intervals to take a quick peek on their toddlers. To get it right, ensure you at some time in the day drop any form of gadget and give your toddler your undivided attention, and make sure they know that mommy or daddy wants to spend sometime now!…. make it fun and worth while! For my daughter, I will simply drop my phone and get engaged in one fun activity with her. Children who have the attention of their parents bonds more with them, and are not easily enticed outside the safety of the home.
What parenting tip do you use in getting the cooperation of your toddler? Kindly share with us in the comment section.
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